MTV VMAs Reporting Live... From My Couch

SODOM magazine was NOT at the VMAs this year (boohoo), but I promise you that I tried to get my grubby little hands on a press pass! We are just not there yet, but there's always next year. This is everything we witnessed posted up on the couch:

SOMBR and that George Michael tribute

You've gotta give it up for that confidence. The performance was definitely polarizing, with many Instagram users irrationally pissed off that he didn't shape-shift into George himself. One unamused viewer commenting "George Michael is rolling [sic] his grave! This is giving first round elimination vibes of a reality singing show". There were positive comments too. Another user wrote "This song was literally made for his voice!". I'm honestly just genuinely curious if he has to bend down to walk through regular sized doorways.

Madonna took home 7 moon people.

The reigning queen of pop was in great spirits, and playful as ever, each time she took the stage. Troye Sivan and Charli XCX presented her with the Best Dance award, and she joined them on stage to give her speech, which turned confusing when she announced something having to do with a laser up her butt? Sivan was visibly out of the loop, but seemed happy to be there.

Later, Madge (do people still call her that?) took home Artist of the Year. During the acceptance speech, the camera shot over to PinkPantheress, who looked... the opposite of thrilled. We don't write trashy, exploitative material in this publication (usually), so it's very possible she had something in her eye, or she just looks annoyed by default, but it is worth mentioning that our girl PinkPantheress wasn't even nominated in this category, so there's no telling what was going through her mind.

Sienna Spiro brought down tha house

The British singer who has only recently been making waves in the U.S. took the stage to perform her song 'Great Expectation'. Holy shit, it gave me full body chills. I haven't even looked up any responses to her performance, because I didn't want any subconscious feelings from other viewers seeping into my own thoughts. It was the performance of the night for me. Was it just me or was she giving Amy Winehouse at her absolute finest? I have a feeling that 'Great Expectation' will be dashing to the top ten on the hot 100 next week.

Taylor Swift won three awards

We have to just accept the fact that this horse girl turned mega-star is going to continue to slay awards shows and charts until she's physically unable to release music. She's going to be 106 years old, on her 73rd album, talkin' bout "You helped me put on my old blue jeans, I knew you were the one when you fixed the nose piece of my oxygen machine". Swift took home Video of the Year, Best Direction, and the inaugural Artist Director Honors, which recognizes artists whose directing work has propelled music video storytelling.

Here's to BEING the press next year! From the couch, I'm out.